Oops… I overcommited.

October 3, 2007

It is becoming increasingly evident that I bit off more than I could chew this year. And now I feel like I have two choices:

One – spit it back out, as disgusting, disappointing, and shameful as it may be.

Two – completely choke on it.

Between the prayer room, the bookstore, and the Daniel Academy… I have committed to too many things. I have cut back as much as I could in all of it, and it still isn’t working.

I woke up feeling really sick today. Tired and weak. Not quite like I’m getting a cold, but like one COULD be right around the corner. In any case, my body was completely wiped out. And THEN I realized that I actually won’t be getting my day off tomorrow or the next day because of the conference.

So, I called in and asked for the day off. Because my boss is amazing (and super gracious), she granted the request. When all was said and done, though, I ended up working for about three hours today. But I WAS able to go back to sleep for a couple of hours after I made that call. (When I did show up at the bookstore today, people kept commenting on how wretched I looked. “Are you getting sick?”)

And then I realized that I had completely missed a meeting for the Daniel Academy this morning. As horrible as my irresponsibility is, it’s probably a good thing that I forgot. My body wouldn’t have been able to take it.

I’ve already cut back on the prayer room. I made the painful decision to go from full-time to operations staff, siginficantly decreasing my prayer room hours. On the bright side, this means that I am actually capable of keeping my sacred trust again. And, switching back to partial nights has greatly increased the amount of sleep I get each night. (And has also significantly aided in my ability to keep my sacred trust. I have yet to miss a set since the switch… since I have little chance of accidentally sleeping through them, now.) And, I’ve even cut back a few hours in the bookstore.

Anyway… I’m at the end of my rope. (Don’t worry, I won’t draw this analogy out like I did the first one.)

In any case… I need to get out of something. And it’s not the bookstore. And it’s not IHOP.

I sent a very difficult email tonight to see if there is any way to get out of my teaching contract. It was so hard to do. And it could go very badly. But I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to get sick. I don’t want to hate life. I don’t want to be inconsistent, unfaithful, and irresponsible with everything that I have committed to because my commitments and responsibilities are more than I can manage.

The reason I am awake right now is because of that email, pleading for a way out. I just got done writing and sending it.

I’ve been thinking about sending that email since August. Pretty much every day, actually. (Even as I have been growing to love my students more and more and have become increasingly comfortable with teaching the class.)

Pray for favor. Pray for provision. Pray for a solution that works for all involved. Pray that I don’t wake up really sick tomorrow morning.



  1. […] Some interesting blogs Filed under: Uncategorized — bahslerd @ 6:20 pm Christian […]

  2. I’m praying, friend.

  3. I’m praying, too!

  4. Me too…

  5. Thanks, ladies.

  6. […] Some interesting blogs Filed under: personal — bahslerd @ 6:20 pm Christian […]

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