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Mercy offends me…

October 7, 2007

… and that’s a problem.

It has come up a couple of times before. Something happened and I realized that I was offended by mercy. God and I talked for a while and I broke through just a little bit.

Well, God seems to be putting His ever-so-unavoidable finger on that one again.

My life is hopeless without it. Yet I can hardly receive it. I am so stubbornly independent. I hate needing anything. I hate needing anyone. And yet I do. He made me that way.

God, help me. Help me to receive mercy. Help me to realize that I cannot do it on my own. Help me understand that I cannot save myself. I know that’s a “dangerous” request, becausee it probably means a lot of pain… but I trust you.  Have Your way. For real.

Abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. I think that is my favorite description of God. It’s the thing I sing about the most. It’s the thing that I come back to the most. Abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. And yet, I am so resistant to it.

Tonight, I was listening to part of Allen Hood’s “God Desires Mercy” message. So good. Yet so hard for me. If I had been alone while listening, I probably would have been quite the sobby mess by the end of it.

I cannot do it without mercy. I am nowhere without mercy. I need mercy. God, help me receive it!

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One comment

  1. Not only to recieve and to give it… but to love to give it… i feel your pain…

    God DESIRES mercy… so I want to encourage you. You will be one who desires in mercy and delights in mercy



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