How I KNOW Amanda will be a great mom

March 28, 2008

Warning: This post is not for those with a weak stomach. It borders on far too much information, if I’m completely honest. But I tried to describe the events of my day as tactfully as I could.

Today was an interesting day. An interesting “Lets never repeat this, ever again,” kind of day.

Some time while I was sleeping, an alert was sent out through my entire body. “Evacuate!” Unfortunately, I was asleep when this happened… so I missed the details as to why everything inside of me needed to leave with haste. As soon as the alert went out, my insides immediately began to liquify and flee out the rear exit.

I awoke to that feeling of “Wow, I need to get to the bathroom… fast!” And thus it began. I’m pretty sure (in the course of that evacuation) that I actually lost a handful of really important organs. But we’ll let Jesus take care of that one.

So… my day was spent in the bathroom… and curled up in the fetal position (groaning and pleading to be unconscious) in my bed. Until…

Until my glory moment. I was overcome with this sharp pain (not the first time of the day) and began to turn over in bed to head towards the bathroom. Mid-turn, I through up quite a bit in my mouth… the first time I threw up. Praise the Lord, it stayed in my mouth. As I began to sit up, however… I spewed… twice (and I was facing at slightly different angles the two times). And let me tell you, I made some really impressive distance with those spews. I can’t imagine what it would have been like had I been TRYING to drench my entire room.

That’s when the amazing Amanda Beattie comes in. She had already picked up some groceries for me. But now she came down, stripped my bed, and began to clean up after me (gathering and washing the many other objects that I had managed to drech). I’d covered a pretty good spread of space. She said it looked like a sprinkler effect.

As Amanda cleaned, I just lay on the bathroom floor (throwing up one more time).

When she was done spot-cleaning my matress and getting everything into the washers (and upstairs tub)… Amanda then proceed to go up the stairs and begin cooking dinner for everyone. (It was our usual Thursday night people time… which I obviously missed.) When people had been there for a while and the food had been served, Amanda came down to move things into the dryer and to make my bed for me. But, because carrying blankets takes energy, I have yet to return to my bed from my new home… the couch.

I’m not sure how it is that my body, hours into the day, still thought that it had anything left to get out of me… but the few crackers I gave it and the gatorade I drank exited my body with the same urgency as everything else inside of me.

Just over two hours ago, (after some VERY impressive self-emptying) I managed to eat something, fell asleep, and haven’t puked (etc.) since.

I’m still really weak… and in some serious pain (though no longer excruciating). But I feel mostly human again. And that’s a good thing. A few conclusions from this … lovely day.

1. I am never eating peaches and cream oatmeal again. NEVER. I (and Amanda) saw many a peach today.

2. Amanda Beattie is one of the most incredible people I know. For lots of reasons. But I am especially grateful for her today.

3. Sarah Stroer, Amanda, Darin, and Kacie are all very good friends. Thank you for the way you served me today.

Now I must sleep… again.



  1. I’m glad that you’re doing better and pray that you get much better still soon. And I’m grateful that you have people like Amanda around.

  2. Oh my! I guess I’ll quit complaining about how my day went! We’re praying for you!

  3. Hehe… I guess something inside of you thought you were supposed to be fasting? My sister is amazing… but you really should have called the guiness people to see if you had set a record first…

  4. I had thought briefly about blogging this incident, but quickly decided against it. However, I had come up with three potential titles in that few-second timespan: 1- “Mom Preparation (Cleaning up Puke Just in Time to Cook Dinner)”; 2- “You Know You’re Good Friends When…”; or 3- “Taking Friendship to the Next Level (and I Don’t Mean Dating)”

    😉 So glad you’re feeling better. Hope you’re up to to the prayer room tomorrow.

  5. It’s true… I almost do wish we had taken some measurements, because I covered some impressive distance there.

    Amanda – Those are awesome titles. 🙂

    Thanks, everyone, for the prayers. I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit when I woke up a while ago, but it was a very different sick feeling, so I am still hoping to be back in the prayer room tonight.

  6. Christine, you can never in your life have any doubt, whatsoever, that Amanda is the truest of friends. Only a true friend would be willing to clean up your vomit,etc. so willingly. I have no doubt that some day Amanda will hear these words about this particular situation, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” : )

    I hope you’re feeling much, much better. The same germ is on the East Coast. I had to stay home from work yesterday due to similar, but not quite so projectile, symptoms. Today was a much better day for me and I’m praying it has been for you, also. Take Care!

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