Oh. They Weren’t Kidding.

August 4, 2008

So, I was driving home from the Liantonio residence tonight, when I got caught in a bit of traffic. I was stuck in a 2-mile portion of Highway 76 (in PA) for 30 minutes. Yes… 30 whole minutes. And it wasn’t until the last half-mile or so that I actually saw anything resembling contrstruction work.

I think they were actually doing circus rehearsals out there. I saw men running around with little unicycles and colorful outfits. What else could it be but the circus?

OK, so maybe they were putting lines on the road. But I like the idea of being stuck in traffic because of an open-air circus rehearsal… on the highway… in the middle of the night more than simple road construction. I mean, seriously: Which one sounds more interesting to you?

As I was driving along, I finally spotted a sign (the first indication of actual construction work). The sign read:

Just Ahead
2 Left Lanes Closed

Now, this is a fairly standard construction message. Lane closures. They happen on highways everywhere.

But here’s the amusing part. There only were TWO lanes. What… were they going to close all of the lanes on the road?

I laughed to myself as I pondered the funny little miscommunication that the placement of their sign had created.

Obviously, a new lane (possibly two) was about to open up. And then the two left lanes of those three or four lanes would be closed. You don’t just close all the lanes on a road and somehow keep it open. It doesn’t work like that. I don’t care what time of night is. But, the idea of them closing two of two lanes was still amusing to me.

A good while later, I found myself at the orange construction cones and flashing arrow sign. I had arrived at the lane closures.

I was in the right lane, so I didn’t really have far to go. But, eventually, there were cones in the middle of my lane as well… and no lane to my right. I followed the line of vehicles in front of me as our orange-cone boundary line pushed us further and further to the right. Over the little “Hey, wake up” ridges on the side of the road we went… and still further right.

Finally, my vehicle was respositioned, along with all of my middle-of-the-night traffic companions, on the shoulder.

They really had closed two of two lanes. We were driving on all that remained of the road after they took the lanes away.

All because of an open-air circus that was getting some practice in on Highway 76… in the middle of the night.



  1. I hate PA roads. I think Pennsylvania is the worst state I’ve ever driven through, and I’ve driven through just about all of it quite a few times! I’m not saying NY is much better, but in PA, so much of the layout of their “highways” is nonsensical, and of course the lovely construction, and the pointless lights, and the death-defying speed limits, etc.

    I sympathize, though with a circus going on, I’m sure that made things much more amusing! ;o)

  2. Welcome to PA highways!!! I hope you’ve been having a great week! Angels go with you back to K.C.

    Mrs. I. : )

  3. PA is the best state ever! But I’m biased because I was born there. But its true…construction…always. Good thing you weren’t going through tunnel construction…that always sucks. But I’m so use to the long drives here in TX, a half hour of traffic isn’t bad at all.

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