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An Unfortunate Turn of Events

August 13, 2008

Due to some sudden and unexpected changes, it looks like I won’t be able to pay bills next month.

It LOOKS that way.

However, I have a God who is faithful… and who always provides. I’ve heard the stories. I’ve seen it in my own life.

It doesn’t mean I’m not scared.  It doesn’t mean I’m not fighting bitterness. It doesn’t mean I’m not weak and broken and struggling to find the strength to stand in confidence and faith… and righteousness. It doesn’t mean I’m not wondering if I will manage to stand.

The last time I saw significant financial loss… the Lord completely came through. I lost $300/month… and within two days, I had the money for that next month. (Quick translation… when you are making about $700/month… $300 is A LOT of money.) Almost immediately following that loss, I had another $250/month in support that I had not even pursued. So, I’d really only lost $50. And… within a couple of months… I was experiencing abundance far beyond what I had lost.

This time, the numbers are a lot bigger. But about half of it was by choice.

I KNOW my bills will get paid. The numbers say they won’t, but I know they will. I think the biggest loss I am feeling right now is my ability to give (outside of my tithe)… to support other people. I am completely losing that. And that hurts. A lot.

But… God sees the desires of my heart. And He’s really into the whole giving thing. So He can provide for that, too. He did in the past.

Just wait until you hear the testimony on this one. It’s going to be huge.

Oh, God… don’t make this one of those 11:59 stories. I don’t know if I can handle that right now. I mean… I totally get that you know what I can handle… but… really… have mercy!

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