CRI – Drastic Sameness

October 23, 2009

Everything is changing. But nothing is changing.

Anyone who has really talked to me since I returned from training can bear witness to this fact: I have a lot to say about those four days.

My first impressions about CRI were correct. Sean Malone was articulating the vision that was actively abiding within my own heart. I was hearing an answer to questions I had been asking for years.

As it turns out, though… CRI was answering a lot more questions than I had initially perceived.

All through training, the Lord was continually speaking to me. Dots were connecting. Unanswered questions throughout my life were finding answers. Seemingly unrelated desires and burdens were coming together. Riddles were beginning to make sense. I was beginning to make sense. My longings, my gifts, my passions, my interests, seasons of training, seasons of preparation, things imparted and invested in my life, dreams, confusing desires, blurry beginnings of vision… Things were coming together.

Sitting in class, I would suddenly be overwhelmed with the Lord’s presence. It didn’t seem to matter what was being taught. The Lord would begin to speak to me. He would highlight the simplest phrase from the present teaching and cause it to reverberate within me. He would bring to remembrance the things that He had spoken at various times in my life. He would give meaning to something from my past and connect it to what I was doing in that moment. He would remind me of something I had just said in the break before our teaching and bring clarity to my own words.

I cried… a lot.

I saw all of the little pieces coming into alignment and I saw it taking shape. My eyes were opened to the foundation that He had been laying in my life. From there, He began to show me blueprints of what He wanted to build on top of that foundation.

I say this a lot, but it is remarkably true: HIS LEADERSHIP IS PERFECT.

Fully aware of the strength of my statement, I cannot pretend otherwise: It really feels like my whole life has been leading up to this.

Everything is changing. But nothing is changing.

Nothing is changing. I am not shifting directions. I have already been moving in this direction. I didn’t pick up anything new. I just got to see a glimpse of the way that everything I have already been carrying in my heart fits together. I’m not pursuing something different. I am simply continuing forward, toward the things that I have already been pursuing.

I am still an intercessory missionary. I am still on the NightWatch. My primary occupation is still prayer.

Everything is changing. But nothing is changing.

Everything is changing. There is a now clear path. Obedience has become a very active thing. I have to respond. It’s time.

He spoke it again and again. He settled it in my heart. And then He set someone in my path to prophesy it over me. It’s time to release the things that have been stored up inside of me. I can’t hide anymore. I can’t keep it locked up anymore. (And there will always be enough for me and my crown. His leadership is perfect.)

It’s time to move forward. It’s time to take risks. It’s time to walk in the grace He has given to me. It’s time to offer myself to the body.

I believe that I have something to give. I have something to give. And it’s time.


One comment

  1. I like this a lot. 🙂

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