Truly Missing the Sun

December 5, 2009

If you walked past my house right now, you could look up to find my feet happily perched in our living room window. Just below them, the rest of me is sun-bathing like a cat in our lovely blue “womb chair”.

Technically, I should be asleep right now. I have only slept for three hours and I have a very long night ahead of me. Very long.

The nights are lengthening as we creep toward the winter solstice. We still have more than two full weeks before we reach the peak of night and begin the slow and snowy journey toward the new life of spring.

In truth, I love it. I love the winter, with its cold air, beautiful snow, and long nights. I have always, even as a child, encountered the Lord uniquely in the middle of the night. And I was made to minister to the heart of the Creator through the watches of the night. My heart is settled in this invitation from my God. As my soul aches with longing for the dawn of new creation and resurrection life, I was made to stand by night in the house of the Lord. Even from the day of my birth, the Lord had already begun crafting that invitation.

I was born on December 22nd, the longest night of the year. My life began on the longest of nights, at the start of the darkest and coldest season of the year. (Stuart Greaves, Mr. NightWatch, was also born on December 22nd.)

As much as I love the night and and much as I love the winter, I must admit that this season of long nights is very difficult. No one enjoys the wave of sickness that floods over our community. And the absence of the sun is felt both emotionally and physically in the frame of every NightWatch intercessor.

I sometimes talk as if I hate the sun. Usually, this happens in the summer, when my unconditioned eyes are overwhelmed by its blazing light and my body is wearied by its excess of heat. And yet, the truth remains. I love the sun. At least in moderation. And it is presetly so moderated that I cannot get enough of it! I have hardly seen the sun for weeks.

And so the title of my blog stands true through this season, in its most literal of interpretations. I am, in fact, missing the sun.


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