Improper Hope?

December 5, 2011

I typed this out very quickly on my phone last night and accidentally published. After un-publishing, I decided to clarify one sentence and just leave it the way it was. Welcome to my brain (minus all the stuff my fingers had no hope of keeping up with).

Hoping to have celiac disease.
Wait… Hoping to be sick?
Does it betray true hope?
Does it betray hope for complete healing?

I was once encouraged by someone well-acquainted with suffering to keep hope alive every day that it would be the day that I am healed.
Is this contradictory?

It seems like such a small sacrifice, though, giving up gluten.
I just want an answer. I know I am sick.

Perhaps I only want to know that I have been suffering from a gluten intolerance. I KNOW I have been suffering.

I don’t want it to continue, but hoping for a label is not hoping for permanence.

Tricky thing is the fact that I would be unlikely to test it out in the future.

How does God feel about allergies?


One comment

  1. I’ve been wrestling with this a lot. It’s especially weird because of all of the biblical imagery about bread, especially Jesus’ self-identification as the Bread of Life and all of the directly-related stuff about the shew bread, communion, etc.

    But the world is broken. We walk in the valley of the shadow of death. So much of the practical advice of Scripture, IMO, pertains to the avoidance of things that aren’t evil in their pure form (or aren’t evil to us in our pure form).

    I’m taking this adventure in gluten-freedom as a prompting to reflect on and explore the ideas of holiness, departure from religion, tradition, convention and other forms of corruption and to think about and experience who Jesus is anew.

    The high doses of gluten one finds in modern American wheat work pretty well as metaphors for the high doses of, um, I’m not completely sure what (and don’t want to fall into one of the easy defaults because I don’t think they’re quite right).

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